And the 2 week revision session begins...

We can all be happy that the Easter holidays (which is a complete lie btw, these are NOT holidays. Not for us -.-) have now officially begun. Going to have to do some hardcore work over these two weeks to make up for my procrastination which has been ongoing for several months now. Sadly this, coupled with the fact that there won't be much to do, will probably mean I will end up blogging less *insert sad face here*.


Today we had a physics practical and evaluative, which I was kind of dreading in complete honesty...I'm terrible at anything practical. I literally get so confused and mess everything up, and then get sad that I'm so useless. Anyway, I went in early (as always) to try and do some revision. I was in the quiet area trying to do some work as I got kicked out of the normal place I do work (some noobs with interviews or w/e), but I kept getting distracted by the librarians talking. I mean really, they scold anyone who talks in the library, and yet they talk and disturb everyone? Double standards much.


Nemo came in at about 9:28, and was shortly followed by Fraz and Lisa, and I started talking to them about physics and black people. This did not last very long as the librarians decided to rain on our parade once again, so Nemo *shockingly* went to the back of the library and started revising, and I left with Fraz and Lisa.
In hindsight, I don't know why I decided to leave with them, as it felt rather awkward, so I returned to the library and forced Nemo to come with me (against his will. He's my bitch). We all messed around in the canteen for an unknown amount of time, and then we left for physics.


Ian was looking as hench as ever when he greeted us at physics. Me and Graham believe that he's secretly a bodybuilder and that the whole "frail" thing is just an act. He ushered us into the classroom and we began the dreaded practical...which actually wasn't so bad. I thought it was quite fun actually. ^_^


After all the physics shenanigans, I saw Graham outside my class and we started talking about the practical and evaluative. Of course I only did this so that I have an excuse when he gets higher than me (that boy is a machine...much like Randy). Fraz then proceeded to join us, and we left Graham.


I stayed in college for about 2 more hours just waiting around with Nemo and Tom, watching videos of people getting angry at games. Some people get so frustrated over the simplest things...and you can't help but laugh sometimes. After those two hours, I went home with Nemo and some Somali kid who decided to say "yalla yalla habibi" when I was on the phone to my mum...I swear, these people who think they can speak Arabic just because they've watched The Mummy. -_-


Well, that was pretty much it...nothing great I suppose, but I can't just not update my blog. Not updating feels...wrong. Guess that's it for today, bai. :(

A day full of maths.

I honestly think mock week will be the death of me...it is actually so damn boring. I barely see anyone, and when I do, all we do is revise. I've honestly had more fun talking to a tree (yes, I have tried to talk to trees...sadly, as you'd expect, they didn't answer. Ruuude).
Today, we had the FP3 and FP4 mocks, which weren't too bad. They went a hell of a lot better than the damned FP2 mock. So yeah.


Anyway, we had FP3 in the morning. I was almost late to that (I got there at 8:30 on the dot) because Manveer wanted me to wait for him at my station, and he said he'd be there at about 8. I waited until 8:10 and then Arsalan came along (I swear that boy always cuts it so fine), and I went with him as Manveer was still at East Ham. I entered the Sports Hall, happy in the knowledge that I could keep my bag, and proceeded to do the paper.


After we finished, I went with Tom And Fahad and we did FP4 revision...until we got stuck on a question, so we went to ask the "D-man" (or Damien as most people know him), and proceeded to get owned. Again. Basically what happened was Tom said, "Damien, you should be in the exam hall next to us and then nudge us whenever we do something wrong." to which Damien replied "Well I'd get quite a sore arm then wouldn't I?"
So much for believing in his students.


We headed to the library after this, where I saw the black guy and shouted "hey black guy" in the middle of the library...with black people. How I have not been murdered/assassinated yet is beyond me. We all sat down in the library and talked about how Raeesah's phone was on some guy's crotch and she "retrieved" it tried to revise.


Time for the FP4 mock came round, so we proceeded towards the sports hall...again.
Loads of people left the exam early, and I can understand why, as there was so much dirty algebra rearrangement and other LONG stuff. :(


When all these shenanigans had ended, I went home on the train with Randy, fish Nemo and Truc. And then they left me. It always happens, I'm always left behind. Makes me kind of sad tbh. 


I thought I would leave you with one of my racist jokes. Let's hope it doesn't get me stabbed *crosses fingers* 
"What did the black kid get for his birthday?
My bike."

Black people. They funneh.

Trains go moo.

Don't let the title of this post mislead you, this post is about neither trains nor moos. I just couldn't think of anything.
So anyway, this week isn't going to be very lively, as it's mock week [yay(!)] and we all love mock week don't we? -_-
I had a chemistry mock yesterday, but we'll get to that in a minute. What I want to share with you is something that happened in the morning that day. Basically my little brother (who's 5 years old) was in the toilet taking a dump (as you do), and he called my mum, and the conversation went somewhere along the lines of:
Sami: Mum, are you cooking?
Mummeh: Why, what do you smell?
Sami: My own poo.
I swear, that boy is so funny. He said it in such a matter of fact tone as well. He'll grow up to be beast.


So anyway, to that chemistry mock...yeah, wasn't too great, missed out a question which I checked in my book afterwards, and it turned out to be so easy. Chemistry is truly my mortal enemy.
After the chemistry mock, I was with Jasmine and Charlotte, and Jasmine showed me her Edinburgh application, and pointed to a little blank box under "application status" if I remember correctly, and was quite worried about it. Good news though, because later that day, she got an offer to do Veterinary Med there, so congratulations Jasmine. ^_^
She took my advice and beasted her interview. Man I give some good advice.


There's not much else to say apart from that, but I'd like to give a special mention to Randy (who knew the black guy had a name?) and the Noobamese, who doesn't know they're the Noobamese just yet, but they'll figure it out. The Noobamese is smart like that.


Oh by the way, if any of you ever get depressed for any reason, listen to this song. I always listen to it when I'm depressed, and it always...errh, yeah, never mind, but here:

Weekend and the man flu.

This weekend was rather uneventful (they always are, as I usually spend them at home being a goblin), apart from the fact that I somehow managed to catch the dreaded man flu. Somehow, during this sunny weather, I was able to catch said man flu. WTF. -_-
Yeah I'm not happy about that. Seems like it's getting better though. Here's hoping. *crosses fingers*


Yesterday we had the chemistry conference, which was being run by no other than Iron Man, but sadly nothing really happened. The highlights of the day were me getting a new book and smelling it (I'm not the only one that does this right?) and finding a new way into college. Exciting stuff(!)


Just as to not make this blog post very short, I decided to share a moment of both rage and confusion from a while back.
Basically, this one time, my mum bought a pack of celery from Asda. Now, I like celery, but I forgot about it and left it in the fridge for quite a while, and one day I remembered about it. So I took it out and checked the back to see if it had an expiry date, and I found a little box on the back, and it read: "Allergy warning; contains celery". A pack of celery, WITH CELERY WRITTEN IN MASSIVE LETTERS AT THE FRONT, may contain celery. Imagine that. Asda not insulting their customers' intelligence there whatsoever.

This sums up how I feel. About most things.

Well, I've ranted for long enough. Hope I didn't bore you/ sound like a 'tard/ both. Bai now. ^_^
But before you go, here's another (somewhat racist) picture. Enjoy.

Bruised hands.

Today wasn't a particularly lively or long day, Fridays never are. Fridays are always the day no one is ever concentrating in class because they're all thinking "OMG OMG weekend after this!!1!", and I have to admit, I'm very much the same. It's especially true for today as we have the next three weeks off college (sadly next week is mock week...fun fun fun), so everyone was feeling particularly lazy today. As a rather pointless side note, today was the first time I wore a t-shirt since September, and it felt...breezy.


Anyway, I got into college at 8:30 as I had chemistry first, but before doing anything I went to the library to hand in my book which I've been repeatedly taking out for about a year now (and of which I read about 150 pages. I'm such a fast reader it's unreal). Then off to chemistry.
Nothing particularly noteworthy happened in chemistry today, we just did a sheet on hexagons and arrows (or as most people call it, organic chemistry) but I think I'm getting better at it. Wooo. Me, Fraz and Chris decided to start a new meme called 'turtle lord approves'. This came about because Fraz was checking his Tumblr in lesson (how he does this and still understands the work is beyond me) and noticed that he got a new follower. He thought it was Jasmine, so he asked her, "Are you turtle lord?". The look of confusion on Jasmine's face was priceless, and I thought that it was the perfect time to an awkward turtle...so I did. And I was completely ignored. Thanks guys.
Chris drew a picture of Turtle Lord which looked like a fish, a fly and one of the Persians from 300. Mad drawing skills. Fraz took a picture of it, and I will show you all a picture of Turtle Lord if Fraz remembers to send me it.


After chemistry, me and Fraz waited around in the atrium for the black guy for about 20 minutes. He didn't appear, so I concluded he was drug dealing (again) and Fraz and I started wandering around aimlessly. Eventually we decided to spend some time basking in the arabness of the Sun, and we stayed outside for a while. We walked around afterwards and we went past Nemo's class, and the window was open, so we decided to go up to the window and we shouted "Neeeeemo" and we walked off. 
Nemo is basically this weird Indian guy who can't take chilli as well as me (and he regularly consumes curry) and likes to run around shouting sexual references at people and running away.


When Nemo's lesson finished, I found him and we went on YouTube to watch random videos of...stuff. One of those videos was talking about how Star Wars is racist and how they all fight using big, flashy dildos, which was a fairly accurate ANALogy (see what I did there?). Nemo then gathered several people, and we went to the back of the college to play table tennis. Nothing interesting happened there (except for me getting completely and utterly raped...you know, the usual).


I had maths at 12:00, so I had to leave the noobs and go to maths...which is full of other noobs. I found out that a few people read my blog and think it's good, so thanks guys. Much love to you all. <3


Maths finished, and I was waiting around in the atrium with several people, and I somehow managed to initiate a game of slapsies with Oleg, who for all intents and purposes we shall call Big Russian guy (and he had big, scary, Russian hands too). My slapsies game with Big Russian guy lasted for about 10 minutes, and we managed to gather up a little crowd, who felt the pain with each slap. I won't lie, it was painful, and here's a little picture of my hands after the game (I got the worst of it):

Purple hands. Ouch.

After those painful 10 minutes, one of the security guards told us to stop. I'm not quite sure I understood why, but meh. With that we stopped, so in the end no-one won.


I went on the train with Nemo, Samatar and Kate afterwards, with Samatar complaining that he couldn't pay the full price (which was about £6) to see the Hunger Games. Those black people eh? -.-
I waited with Nemo at my stop for his train as he missed his stop, and when the train got there, I left him and went home.

The dreaded Thursday

Thursdays are usually a full day of college for me, and today was no different (except with the dreaded FP2 mock, which we'll get to later). I did some maths work for an hour in the library before heading to chemistry. The thing about chemistry is it used to be fun, until we started doing organic. Now all I see now are hexagons and arrows, and I get lost in them all. Anyway, we did chromatography today, and I was as confused as ever, wondering why things randomly travel up the paper at different rates (I'm such a chemistry noob I know). I usually spend most lessons talking to Jasmine and Fraz and copying their work, as they're better at it than I am *insert sad face here*. At one point in the lesson, our teacher walked around with chromatography paper and said to us, "You're not allowed to touch it...but you can feel it." which got somewhat confusing, I'm not going to lie. :/


When lesson ended, Jasmine left us for crisps (or that's what she said, but she also used to think my name was a sound effect. Oh yeah, and she's white. Jus' sayin'). For the next hour during our maths for uni enrichment class, Fraz was telling me to do STEP I and AEA as today was the deadline for applying to them, and sadly, me being me and all, I agreed. So now I have 9 exams in June. Wonderful.
During lunch, I waited around for the black guy as per usual, and I went with him to the canteen where it was Masinnie's birthday. Randy naturally only went there because of the cake, which was rainbow coloured and loaded with sugar (two things Randy loves. Rainbows and sugar...no homo). He denies he was just there for the cake but we all know the truth. At one point he completely disappeared, and I thought he just blended in with the background, you know, like a ninja. No racism intended.


I headed to maths (and my doom) after lunch, where we were doing an FP2 mock. AQA maths makes no sense because FP2>FP4>FP3 in terms of difficulty. I swear AQA are the work of the devil.
That maths paper completely annihilated my brain, though I suppose this supports the theory of me storing my mathematical knowledge in my hair (I know some weird people). When we finished, I felt just about ready to cry...and we headed off to physics. But before we get to that, here's a picture that represents me (almost perfectly):

I like physics. It used to be my favourite subject after all, but this year I'm really not feeling it. My teacher is about as good at teaching physics as Cher Lloyd is at singing...so not very good. Anyway, me being my productive self I concluded that the Sun is Arab, because apparently people used to think the Sun was just a massive piece of coal, and as we all know, coal is black. But now we know that the Sun is yellow, and Arabs usually come in yellow or black, hence the Sun is an Arab. When I came to this conclusion, Tom just looked at me, shook his head and hit his head on the desk. I also came to the conclusion that this is what Wiz Khalifa is talking about in his song 'Black and Yellow'. This was all while Fraz was trying to vaporise my mind...what a noob eh?


After college finished, I waited for the black guy for a while, then realised he was doing a practical with Bernie (and we can't disturb his Bernie time, oh no) so I headed off with Hericka, Nemo, Chris and a bunch of other noobs to the train station, where there was a bit of a dispute concerning which carriage we should get on. On the train, Chris was talking about how he shaved his chest hair (err...yay?) and we were all...surprised. Then it got onto waxing our scrotums, which sounded quite painful. That conversation had to come to an end [sadly] as I arrived at my station, and left the noobs.

The beginning...

Well, I've decided to take up the blogging scene due to a combination of boredom, curiosity, people telling me to do it and the want to share random things that I find on teh interwebs. I'm not quite sure what to write as this is my first post, but I suppose saying hi to all the people who convinced me to make a blog makes sense, so hi Randy, Truc, Tom and everyone else. <3


Basically, if you haven't caught on by the title of the blog, I am an Arab (some call me African, others call me Asian, but in fact I'm yellow...and yes I'm aware that yellow isn't a race). Being an Arab is kind of fun, as I'm allowed to be racist (I'm not really, but I like to think so xD). For example, I call "The Randynator" (what a noob name) "the black guy" as he's black. It's begun catching on as now everyone else calls him the black guy, and he gets so frustrated, it's funny ^_^. But you know I love you really man. <3

I also have an obsession with maths, so yes, I am a massive nerd, but you know what? I don't care, because maths is peng. I remember those times in school during maths class, someone would always say "when would we ever use this in real life?"...yeah those people aren't alive anymore. Ah I miss school though, I had some epic times there, and as it was a school in the East End everyone was so racist, it was brilliant (if you're into that sort of thing). I had this one friend who was REALLY dark (imagine charcoal...and that's not an exaggeration) whose name was Durrell, and one time in science the teacher turned off the lights to show us a video and the first thing you heard was "Ah, where's Durrell gone?". Cue hysteric laughter.
Anyway, I think I've rambled on long enough for my first post...I hope you didn't find it too boring. Bai. ^_^